I Am A Bully and How To Deal With Her.

I am writing this blog from my soul. Today I felt not so good and asked what is this all about? Why are we here etc etc etc.

Then I checked this site and came across some beautiful inspirational words on other blogs.

As I read them I realised that we are all on the same road, fighting the same demons and dragons and we are all having the same mad crazy thoughts. You know I actually believed that I was the only crazy person in this mad world – how selfish and arrogant is that?

Plus how STUPID is that? Me – the only person who feels sorry for herself!!!!

At this point I could have kicked my own ass if it was physically possible and then I caught myself at it again – feeling sorry for myself and bullying myself.

Yes I am a bully and I bully me.

I sneer at myself when I think I look ok. I laugh at my ideas of having a better laugh. The list can go on and on.

I have a full blown nasty piece of work living in my head and I allow her to bully and brow beat me and I accept it.

So this is where I stand up for myself, take a deep breath and look at her in the eye.

This is where I take back my personal power and kick her ass !!!!

At this point I have asked my angels to help me – remember we can’t do this on our own – and she is some girl !!!

Awareness and being in the moment and a lot of compassion will soon shut her up but in the meantime I have to remember who I am.

I am a spiritual being full of love, compassion and love.

HERE IS MY STRATEGY

Be in the moment

Check what is going on with me – who is talking?

Smile

Keep repeating the mantra ‘I am a beloved Child of God who is blessed and loved. I am safe’

Be nice to me – I need it always

Ask for divine help

Big love

The Greatest Love Of All !

I believe  and I know that we are all doing better than we think in this crazy world.

What do I mean?

Well, if you look around you, we are bombarded with subtle negative feedback – we can be thinner, have clearer skin, earn more and on and on.   For whatever reason we are being told that we are not enough.

Perhaps you got it from your parents – ‘Look at cousin John – he was never a bother and look at him now earning all that money and he is so happy’, or ‘you’re not like your sister – you have to work harder because the good looks passed you by. I say this out of love’.

Some religions thrive on ‘reminding ‘ us, how ‘bad’ we are and that it’s ‘good’ to suffer. What a load of ……

You get the picture – we can all dig deep and pull out a gem of a comment that was said ‘out of love’. Yes it was said out of love – there was no love involved !

Anyway as I was saying, if we take a moment and realise that we are all doing really well. Yes we are !

Did you smile today? Did you say I love you to at least one person – in my case it was my dog.

Did you help some one?

Did you love yourself – even if it was a tiny tiny thing like having a bubble bath or read a book you love or indulge yourself?

If you did one thing for yourself today – good for you. Keep it going. Remember that the universe is loving and generous and sees you as you really are. The universe wants you to be happy.

We must love ourselves first and then everyone else. We can do this by seeing and acknowledging the divine in ourselves and others – namaste.

The greatest love we can experience is the love we give ourselves. How do we do that- by being kinder and more compassionate to ourselves and everyone else. Big challenge!

So don’t pay too much attention to the ads or the blurb we are fed day in and day out.

You are precious and wonderful. Love yourself so much that life gets better and better every day.

Have a wonderful week everyone.

When All Aound Seems Crazy, Go Inside and Be.

They say that the cure for any poison is close to the poison. These past few weeks I have been in a not so great place in my head. Even saying I am in my head is not great because it’s crazy in there.

Anyway I have been supping on the poison of my ego for a couple of weeks. Oh the misery for me and anyone near me !  The smell of burning martyr ( you know what I mean) was gagging and I rolled around in the ashes of my self esteem like my dog rolls around in grass. I lay there and I made sure I did it good. I believed all the crazy stupid daft poisonous crap my ego mind could feed me.

And I listened to it and I believed it – there you are. Bless me Father for I have sinned.

My house is full of every self help spiritual book going and I have read them all – what a waste of time and money that was !

What is/was the point of all of this if I was going to lie down and be walked over by little me !

What is the cure for this – go inside.

Go inside and breatheeeeeeeeeeee.   Yes I eventually clicked that my ego does not love me and will never love so what was I at?

So this morning I sat on my sofa and I breathed.

I breathed in peace – it was pale blue and I could see it seep deep into my body.

Then I breathed in baby pink love and it went deep deep into my being.

Then I sat and was. Like a gentle breeze I allowed the peace to gently drift me back to Source.

Then I forgave myself and I wrapped myself in love and settled into my heart space with God.

I wish you all peace and love in this beautiful precious moment in time.

The cure for everything is always close by – in your soul. So go inside and as a gentle as a whisper say Hi, I’m back.

God is there – always – and this is all free. It’s not in a book or  a poster but in your soul.

I wish you all peace and love and courage.

Big love

Wearing SomeOne Elses Clothes

What do you believe in – really deep deep down where no one else can see?

What you say you believe and what you deep deep down believe in – are they the same or are they poles apart?

If the two beliefs about the same thing are different, which one is the truth?

I thought I had a pretty good belief system until I went still and looked into the deep recesses of my mind and oh dear I have been fooling myself.

My belief system of life and how we exist is not healthy. It had a very strong vein of anxiety, scarcity, resignation and bitterness running through it.

After a bit of head scratching at this discovery I decided to look around to see where this had come or what was causing it.

I didn’t have to look too far ! I had unconsciously taken on board the belief systems of my parent – aaghh. Oh my goodness how did that happen?

Well I could pace the floors wondering about this but the truth it happened when I was growing up when the gloom and doom of parental beliefs filtered into my young naive mind and I kept it there.

Yep ‘Miss I have been To University And Seen The World’ has been carrying around someone elses’ beliefs. I had become my mother – and not the nice part !

It’s like wearing my mothers clothes that don’t fit and I look crap in them. They don’t belong to me. They are not my taste so why the heck am I wearing them?

In the stillness, like an old movie re-run, all the times in my life where I had sabotaged myself popped up because I was running the old restricted belief system again and again and again.

I watched and cringed at my closed mind and I should have known better.

The details of that thought system are not relevant now. The thing now is to get rid of them.

I am now re-writing my belief patterns. I am digging them up, one by one and challenging them and like a computer game shooting them out of my consciousness. It is going to take time but I believe that as a belief is challenged it loses 50% of its power.

I am using EFT, affirmations and visualizations to pop them out of my mind and render them useless. I am overwriting the hard drive of my mind – oh don’t I sound all techie and psychie !!!

I am not feeding those thoughts/beliefs AGAIN EVER but I gotta keep at it otherwise they will sneak back.

Happy Friday everyone.

It is pelting rain here in Ireland (I know it does that anyway) but we did have a lovely September.

What If? Or When It Happens I will be Happy – really !

While I was walking my dog, a question popped up in my head.

‘What if everything you wanted came true, what would you do?’

Hmm that made me think. What would I do? What would I really do?

That question has been with me since.

When we ask or pray for something, do we expect it to happen?

Do we pray for ‘it’ but don’t expect it and then we can blame God, the Universe, the government …..

Do you get what I mean?

What did ‘come up’ with me was how I would feel when it all does happen.

Is that feeling – joy or happy or scared or surprised or drat now I have to do this thing.

I need to sit with this now and see and feel if what I think I want is what I really really want.

IS that why my prayers haven’t been answered?

Is it all to do with divine timing?

Something for me to meditate on.

Have a good evening – it’s that time here in Ireland.

This Too Will Pass and Ordering a Cup Of Cosmic Coffee

How many times have we heard that – this too will pass?  A boss from years ago used to say that  all the time and when he did, I wanted to shake him. Of course he was right.

No matter what the crisis (big or small) it passes – how long is another story !

I have been saying that a lot recently. It’s my comfort when things look down.

However it’s not only the ‘not good’ stuff that will soon pass but also the good stuff !

This made me stop and think. Yes we all have good experiences but they are going to move away.

I don’t want to depress any of you but I take this as a reminder for us all to be grateful for this moment now because it’s passing.

LIVE IN THE NOW – NOW!

Before you throw your hands up in despair and wonder what’s the point, STOP.  It doesn’t mean ‘bad’ things are on their way but better is on its way.

That leads me nicely onto my cosmic cup of coffee.

Last week I was berating heaven for not sending me what I want. I had asked nicely but was wondering WHERE IS IT?

Once the hissy fit was done, a lovely message came into my consciousness and this is it.

When you order coffee in a cafe, do you march over to the barista and tell them how to make the coffee and supervise it until it arrives? Do you tap your fingers impatiently if it’s not with you in 30 seconds?

Well it’s the same when you pray. You ask nicely and then relax KNOWING that it’s on its way and no further action is required – no telling HOW and WHAT HAS TO BE DONE.

Well that shut me up !

That which I have asked for is on its way and when it does arrive there may even be an extra shot – the universe normally gives us more than we asked for as long as we don’t limit ourselves.

With that final piece of cosmic advice, I am off for a walk with my dog.

Order your cosmic coffee now.

Jumping Off The Cliff

For many years I was a teacher and in August 2014 I left my job. I had no job to go to but what I did have was a burning desire to GET OUT !!!!!

The reasons for my leaving I will not go into – I don’t want to make this a whingey tirade of blame. Suffice to say I left !

When I broke the news to my former colleagues, I was amazed at their reaction – total disbelief. In fact some of them stared at me as if I had just admitted to a major crime.  I could almost hear their brains processing my words and then ping the penny dropped. The inferred reaction could be summarised as disbelief mingled with an envy.

So here I am. I have been through every emotion from pacing the floor wringing my hands as I scold myself ‘what the hell have you done?’ ‘How can you pay the mortgage, pay the bills? You have no job to go to and on and on and on. In my down moments I have seen me being evicted from my house and oh the shame the shame !!!  I soon got over that and reminded myself that this is not a movie or a novel, it’s my life and I am making sure this isn’t going to happen EVER.

One month later I am now calmer – ok last Sunday there was a massive boohoo session and more of the ‘what the hell is wrong with you ? Have you lost your mind?? ‘

How am I now?

Well there are possible jobs on the horizon – none associated with teaching. But it is the sense of freedom and fun. I am looking at jobs and thinking how fun it would be to do a whole new job and not have to worry about marking assignments, work schemes etc.

I can literally do anything except drive a forklift or a heavy goods vehicle – yet !!! – brain surgery or dance professionally.  But I am having so much fun looking at all the jobs out there.

Why am I feeling like this? Well it’s because I am tapping into the whole concept of infinite possibility. I got that from Deepak Chopra. The possibilities fro me are endless.

This is what freedom tastes like, feels like, is !

I am also aware of the fact that I am happy to do whatever job comes along and I KNOW that the jobs are on their way. Its all going on ‘behind the scenes’.

The universe is conspiring to make this life wonderful for me. I do believe that.

I have set the intention and asked for divine help and I am now getting out of the way.

By the way I am now in my right mind – confident and assured that whatever turns up for me is for my higher good.